Leadership Truths: Why Women in Business Still Fight to Be Heard

In an industry where assertiveness is currency, why do women still have to fight harder to be taken seriously? As one of the few female mortgage brokers ranked in the top 100 nationwide, I've spent 20 years navigating a challenging reality: our voices often land differently, regardless of the message.

The Double Standard of Assertiveness in Leadership

Let me be real for a moment.

I've been in business long enough—two decades of building and scaling a successful mortgage brokerage—to recognize the difference between being assertive and being labeled. And the truth hits hard: sometimes, as a woman in leadership, especially in the male-dominated financial services industry, it feels like no matter how you phrase something, it still gets filtered through a different lens.

When something goes sideways—a complaint surfaces, a problem emerges, a miscommunication happens—have you noticed the pattern? When I speak up about an issue that needs addressing, it's often interpreted as "complaining" or "nagging." But when a male counterpart raises identical concerns, he's viewed as "just being assertive" or praised as a "straight shooter."

This double standard isn't just frustrating—it's a genuine business obstacle that affects everything from daily operations to strategic growth.

The Reality of Being Heard vs. Being Loud

Here's what many don't understand: I've had to raise my voice not to be loud, but simply to be heard.

The truth is, I'm not loud by nature. I'm not a drama queen. I don't whine or complain unnecessarily. At CMS Mortgage, we've intentionally built a culture that rejects the "complain and blame" mentality. We're the opposite—we're self-sufficient problem-solvers who pride ourselves on finding solutions without constantly seeking external assistance.

But here's the critical distinction: when we do ask for help—it means we actually need it. It means we're serious. It means we care deeply about resolving an issue that impacts our clients, our team, or our business operations.

It doesn't mean we're crying wolf or being difficult. Yet that request for assistance too often comes with unrequested side dishes of eye rolls, dismissiveness, or assumptions about our competence that we didn't order.

The "Redheaded Stepchild Syndrome" in Business Leadership

I've come to call this phenomenon my "Redheaded Stepchild Syndrome"—and no, I'm not a natural redhead, and I'm definitely not a stepchild. But the metaphor fits perfectly.

Because sometimes, even after doing everything right—after building systems, following protocols, documenting processes, and achieving results—it still feels like you're the outsider. The one who has to over-explain, over-clarify, and over-perform just to be taken as seriously as your male counterparts.

This syndrome manifests in multiple ways:

• Being asked to provide more documentation than others for the same requests

• Having your expertise questioned despite proven track records

• Watching your suggestions get overlooked until a man repeats them

• Finding yourself interrupting the interrupters just to finish your thought

• Being labeled as "emotional" when expressing the same frustration a man would be permitted

From Single Motherhood to Leadership: Carrying the Weight

This experience isn't new to me. I carried that same weight as a single mother, trying not to let my kids see the struggle while I built a business from the ground up. And I've carried it into business leadership too—often downplaying just how hard we work to make things happen smoothly.

Until we raise our hand to point out a legitimate issue. And then suddenly, we're told maybe we should have asked differently—or clarified our concerns—when in reality, we couldn't have been more clear from the start.

This pattern doesn't just affect me as the company leader—it trickles down to impact our entire organization:

1. It creates unnecessary communication friction

2. It wastes valuable time and resources

3. It delays resolution of genuine problems

4. It undermines the trust and respect essential for business relationships

5. It sets a problematic example for the next generation of women in mortgage and leadership

Moving Beyond Being Heard: Raising Standards Instead of Volume

So today, I'm making a critical distinction.

I'm not shouting. I'm not apologizing for needing to address legitimate concerns.

I'm not raising my voice. I'm raising my standards.

If that makes people uncomfortable, they might want to buckle up. Because women in leadership—especially in industries like mortgage and real estate where we remain underrepresented at the highest levels—aren't asking for special treatment. We're asking for equal consideration when we speak.

We've got things to fix—in our companies, in our industry, and in business culture as a whole. And women leaders like me aren't going anywhere. In fact, we're just getting started.

Strategies for Women Leaders: Being Heard Without Shouting

Through my coaching programs at www.corrinacarter.com, I work with women in mortgage, real estate, and business leadership to develop effective communication strategies that command respect without conforming to stereotypes. Here are key approaches I've found effective:

1. Document Everything

When raising issues, come prepared with documentation. This isn't about being defensive—it's about removing any potential for dismissal based on "feelings" rather than facts.

In my mortgage business, we've implemented systems that track every communication, deadline, and deliverable. When issues arise, we can point to specific data points rather than general concerns.

2. Build Strength in Numbers

Find allies who can amplify your voice. This doesn't mean creating an echo chamber, but rather developing professional relationships with colleagues who recognize the value of diverse perspectives.

At CMS Mortgage, we've built a leadership team that values input from all quarters and ensures everyone gets heard in decision-making processes.

3. Reframe the Narrative

Rather than accepting the "complainant" label, position yourself as the solution-finder. Lead with, "I've identified an opportunity for improvement" rather than "There's a problem."

In my coaching for mortgage professionals and real estate leaders, we practice communication frameworks that position concerns constructively while maintaining assertiveness.

4. Master the Art of the Follow-Up

When your input gets overlooked, follow up systematically. Document the initial communication, restate it clearly, and request specific action steps.

This strategy has proven particularly effective in our mortgage operations, where clear communication can mean the difference between closing a loan on time or losing a client's dream home.

5. Develop a Personal Brand of Solutions-Focused Leadership

Through my personal branding coaching program at www.corrinacarter.com/discovery-call, we work with women leaders to establish reputation foundations built on results and solutions—not just identifying problems but solving them.

This approach shifts perceptions from "she's complaining again" to "she consistently identifies issues and resolves them before they impact the business."

The Broader Impact: Changing Industry Perceptions

This isn't just about individual comfort or even individual success. It's about transforming business culture—particularly in financial services, mortgage, and real estate—to recognize that effective leadership comes in different styles and voices.

When women leaders remain unheard or mischaracterized, organizations lose:

• Critical insights that could prevent problems

• Diverse perspectives that drive innovation

• Opportunities to serve broader client bases more effectively

• Talent that might otherwise transform the organization

In my two decades of mortgage industry leadership, I've watched many talented women exit the field not because they lacked skills or drive, but because they grew weary of fighting to be heard. This represents an incalculable loss of potential for our industry.

The Path Forward: From Recognition to Action

Recognizing the problem is step one. Taking action is what follows.

Here's what I'm committed to as both a mortgage industry leader and a business coach:

1. Creating systems that ensure every voice gets heard in my organization

2. Mentoring the next generation of women in mortgage and business leadership

3. Speaking openly about these challenges rather than pretending they don't exist

4. Developing communication frameworks that help women leaders navigate these dynamics

5. Building business cultures where respect is the standard, not the exception

Through my leadership development coaching at www.corrinacarter.com, I help both women and men recognize these patterns and develop strategies to create more effective communication environments.

From One "Redheaded Stepchild" to Another

If you've ever felt like the outsider whose valid concerns get dismissed or reframed as complaints—whether you're in mortgage, real estate, or any leadership position—know that you're not alone.

The solution isn't to speak more softly or to stop raising important issues. The solution is to become so effective at communicating and delivering results that your voice becomes impossible to dismiss.

We've got work to do—as individuals, as companies, as an industry, as a whole. And it starts with naming what we're experiencing without apology or hesitation.

From one "redheaded stepchild" to another: keep speaking up. Keep driving change. Keep raising standards rather than volume.

Because the mortgage industry, the real estate sector, and the business world need your voice—even when they don't yet know how to hear it properly.

Ready to develop communication strategies that ensure you're heard without being labeled? Visit www.corrinacarter.com/discovery-call to explore how my leadership coaching for mortgage professionals and business leaders can help you transform how your voice lands in your organization.

FAQ Section

How can women in mortgage leadership ensure their voices are heard effectively?

Women in mortgage leadership can ensure their voices are heard by documenting communications, building strategic alliances, focusing on data-driven discussions, developing a solutions-oriented reputation, and mastering the art of confident follow-up. The key is transitioning from being perceived as raising problems to being recognized as identifying opportunities for business improvement.

What communication strategies help female business leaders overcome gender bias?

Effective communication strategies include leading with solutions rather than problems, documenting all concerns with specific data points, building networks of allies who can amplify important messages, framing issues in terms of business impact rather than personal frustration, and developing a reputation for consistent follow-through on identified issues.

How does gender bias impact mortgage and real estate businesses?

Gender bias in mortgage and real estate businesses leads to missed opportunities for innovation, potential compliance or operational issues going unaddressed, loss of valuable talent, limited perspectives in strategic decision-making, and reduced ability to serve diverse client bases effectively—all of which directly impact the bottom line and long-term business sustainability.

What leadership development approaches help women succeed in male-dominated industries?

Leadership development approaches that help women succeed in male-dominated industries include mentorship programs with established women leaders, communication skills training focused on assertiveness without aggression, personal branding development that emphasizes expertise and results, strategic network building, and coaching that addresses both technical skills and the psychological aspects of navigating gender dynamics.

How can mortgage companies create cultures where all voices are equally respected?

Mortgage companies can create cultures of equal respect by implementing structured communication protocols that ensure all team members are heard, establishing clear metrics for evaluating input rather than relying on perceptions, providing leadership training on recognizing and addressing unconscious bias, creating mentorship opportunities for underrepresented groups, and modeling respectful communication from the top down.